Friday, March 1, 2013

Looking back at February

Well, on February 1 I decided I was going to have an 80 mile month. I felt strong and capable and started the month with one of the best runs I've ever had.

I still feel strong and capable, but the month ended up with 45 miles and I'm okay with that. I said going into it that February was going to be an amazing month and it absolutely was, just not in the way I thought it would be. Finding out that I was pregnant has already changed the way I run, but in so many ways I am absolutely convinced that running gave me this baby (jokes about where the baby was conceived aside, haha). Running has done so much to change my life; it gave me self esteem because I was convinced I could never run. It has helped guide my weightloss so that I lost way more bodyfat than lean body mass, and although I have been a lower weight before, my body is so different than it ever has been before (aside from the changes that having my daughter created...some of those are permanent, and that's okay).

Running has made me confident, running has made me healthier, and running has done more good things for my body than I can name, and obviously, more than I know, too. It's unfortunate that running is harder right now, but that hasn't changed how much I love to run or how good I still feel it is for me - if anything, it's just taught me how much listening to my body is important. I ran 2 miles on Sunday, and had planned 6, but soreness in my abs convinced my husband and I that I needed to cut it short. I mourned the miles, but not the decision. With my body making changes every day, some days are going to be good days to run and some aren't, and that's okay.

I didn't end up running again until today because we had a little scare where we thought something was wrong with the pregnancy (all is fine! Marathon is fine, we even saw him/her again and baby is measuring exactly on target with date of conception, with a super healthy heartbeat of 162 - the problem was totally unrelated), so getting out and running 5 miles today just...felt great. It felt HARD, no doubt. My heart pounds harder, faster than it ever used to, and I have to heed those little warnings to slow it down a bit. Morning sickness sometimes can make an entire run feel like that last stretch in a race where you're giving it everything you've got and just a little bit more than you really should until when you cross the finish line you're sure you're going to throw up - but that's part of life now and happily, not all runs (or even all moments of a run) are like that. I am grateful for every mile I can run right now, and looking forward to my 5K at the end of the month.

I -am- a little nervous about my half marathon on 4/6, because I know I am going to be undertrained. PR isn't likely, and that's okay. I'm just going to have fun making an incredible run with Marathon - especially because unless running really does get easier the second trimester (it does for some, for some it doesn't - so we'll see) this will be my longest run for a long long time. So I'm just going to relax and not push and just have fun. I can have fun at a race, right?

And in the mean time, I'll continue being grateful for each mile. According to thebump Marathon is the size of a green olive this week, so here's to running with an olive!

No comments:

Post a Comment