Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Almost 20 weeks...geebus!

I'm beginning to wonder if I managed to push the fast forward button, because time feels like it is absolutely flying. I'll be 20 weeks on Friday and that's absolutely surreal. Didn't I just find out I was pregnant? Where did this giant baby bump come from? And what exactly is kicking me and wriggling all the time?!

...oh yeah. The baby. Right.

Seriously, I feel like I've blinked. 20 weeks felt impossibly far away in February and now it's the middle of May and holy whoa, here we are.

I think along with that milestone I'm finally making peace with my mileage falling so dramatically. I really thought I'd be one of those pregnant women who kept up 20-25 miles until she was at least 6 months pregnant and that just hasn't happened. By far. I don't know if it's all physical or some of it was no longer being on a structured training plan, but it's getting harder and harder to get out for runs. I did my virtual mother's day 10K from Muffins to Marathons and my daughter gave me my medal afterwards - which was fun.

 19 weeks exactly - and the race shirt was terribly unflattering as it hiked up. Should not have tried to wear it over the belly! :)

But just like the Cinco de miler last week, approaching mile 5 was hard and I'm still sore two days later. Not leg muscles - I could deal with that. My abs and pelvis and hips are sore. After a lot of thought and whining, my husband and I kind of mutually came to the conclusion that I'm pushing too hard to keep up with a baseline that isn't feasible for me right now. Not meeting my mileage goals was upsetting, not to mention unproductive.

My new reality? 2-4 miles, and stop when it stops feeling okay - maybe a 4-5miler on the weekend if I'm up to it. I feel...surprisingly okay with it. I'm still getting out there, still running. I walk a lot more in between running days. I'm active and I know that's good for everyone.

And the truth is, running pregnant just isn't as fun as it was before getting pregnant. Every run feels hard now, like the first few weeks of the couch to 5K. I can't chase that runner's high - I can't push hard enough even if I felt like it was safe to do. There's a mental battle in running now that didn't used to be there. I'm afraid to burn myself out - I know I'll have to stop running at some point in this pregnancy and I want to be eager to pick it back up. I don't want to have forced myself to go out there and find I've sapped all the fun out of it - I want it to be fun when I pick it back up. So, I'm cutting down and chilling out a bit. I find my pace is naturally slowing a bit even when I don't notice, even when I feel like I'm still going along at the same rate, so I think it's a good time to really just let go and relax and do what I can and what feels good and /no more/.

So...even though it surprises me to write...I feel pretty good about this decision. Regretful, especially watching my husband wrack up the miles as he trains for Chicago, but I also know...my body is getting ready for it's own unique athletic challenge in October. It's not the Chicago Marathon, it's the Miles Marathon. There will be other Chicagos for me. The miles I can safely and comfortably accumulate now are healthy ones. And that is good enough. Because of this:

Actually, this is last week, but it shows the bump!

4 comments:

  1. I am happy you are feeling good about the decision - because it sounds like the best one! And it is great that you can still run a bit, since you want to, and get some awesome walks in. Besides, who wants to run in the nasty hot summer anyway? Hee hee :)

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    1. Tell me about it - even inside my house it's been brutal! Last summer I got up early to beat the heat but that is sooooo not happening this year, haha.

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  2. You look great! And you're right- it's more important to focus on your own athletic challenge in October than to worry about miles. :)

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    1. Thank you :)

      And yeah - it's hard to accept but I really feel like..it's what I need to do, even if I'm jealous of all the cool runners around me.

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