I have posted about it before, but I have been slowly buying more running gear lately - new shoes, a running belt, new socks, etc. Part of this is in preparation to start training for a marathon, some of this is replacing what was worn out (my poor waveriders...I have worn them thin, literally!), and some of this is adjusting to a body that just had a baby and has reorganized itself a bit.
But it's strange to me. For a very long time, I wore nothing skin tight. Everything was loose, baggy. I ran my first 5K in an XL cotton tshirt and baggy yoga pants. Seriously. I knew enough not to wear the race shirt, because that's a Runner's Rule.
Eventually, I'd figure out that rules were made to be broken and to do what made me happy, however!
But I have always dressed to hide myself in recent years, uncomfortable showing any part of me or feeling like any part of me was worth showing, and so, even when it was practical, I just...didn't. I didn't wear shorts, or capris. I wore long jeans and long pants. I wore loose fitting shirts, jackets a size too big.
And it's not that I didn't know the stuff was too big, I did, but it's a good way to hide.
But I'm done hiding.
And it's not that I suddenly feel like my body is perfect or that I want to show off.
It's that...I (mostly) don't care any more. I'm buying running clothes that are good for running. No more loose clothes that catch on things as I run or drag or freeze in icy slush and get heavy. I'm buying form fitted clothes to run in because...get this...I am looking to dress appropriately for how I want to run.
It feels good.
But it feels a little exposed, too. I went out for a run in a pair of fitted running capris yesterday and I was a little bit paranoid. Not that I really expected anyone was looking at me, at least any more than the usual "Dude, it's -2 out, that chick is CRAZY!" But...there's really nowhere to hide in regular running clothes.
It's not a bad thing. But these capris? Sure are different.