Friday, February 12, 2016

Marriage Secrets:Laughter

So, my husband and I have been together a long time. We're in our 30s now, and started dating as freshman in high school. That means in a real way we grew up together, and neither of us are really the same person we were when we started, but somehow we've grown together.

And believe me, I'm grateful for it. I sometimes get asked how we've been together so long, as if I somehow have a secret, and the truth is, I really don't. We're very blessed and we know it; we have our ups and downs like any couple but we're both deeply committed to each other. We've been through job losses and difficult pregnancies, and kids, and traumatic crimes (and okay, maybe those aren't exactly in order of difficulty...) which have all given our relationship some low points. But we always reach for each other and I think that's why we go so well together - whatever happens, we reach for each other's hands before we do anything.

But one thing I will say - I got out of my way to do things for him, that are definitely not for me. I try to do this once a day or close, whether that's picking out a special coffee for him (I am not a coffee drinker...pass the tea, please?), buying a brand of chips as a treat for him that I can't stand, setting something up in the bathroom for him the particular way he likes doesn't have to be a big thing, but something I don't benefit from (or in the case of the jalapeno chips he likes...actively dislike). Just something to let him know that he matters. Sometimes he notices, sometimes he doesn't, but it's important to me to think outside myself and remember that we're here to take care of each other.

So - one of the things I do for him...that I don't do for anything else and would probably be pretty embarrassed if I slipped and did it for the wrong person...(is anyone's head in the gutter? Boy, you're going to be disappointed...) tell him Dad jokes. You know, Dad jokes? The really, really groan worthy jokes that all dads seem to tell and that make everyone at the table hide in their hands?

You're probably familiar with the aftermath of a Dad-joke.

Well, my husband has been telling them since he was like..2. Well, I exaggerate, but at least since I've known him. So occasionally, I do my best to out-dad-joke him. And today, I found an absolute beauty.

And yes, I got exactly the reaction I wanted.


  1. Haha! Dad jokes ftw. That's so great you and your hubby have been making it work since hs. When our older daughter started dating her homecoming date, the idea of if lasting forever crossed my mind. Um nope, 5 weeks and it was over.

    1. She's the normal one, not us! Most high school couples don't last. We expected to not be dating a week after we started. Haha!

      Dad jokes are just the worstbest.

  2. Being able to grow together is SO important! That's unfortunately one of the things that doomed my first marriage - I had grown and changed a LOT over a couple of years, and he was and will always be exactly the same.

    Doing little things for each other, even if the other person doesn't really notice, is so sweet. And yes to laughing and telling Dad jokes!!! My dad legitimately tells them, so I grew up appreciating that kind of humor (or lack thereof haha), and definitely like that quality in the person I'm spending my life with.

    1. That's hard when someone stays static, because you don't want to let yourself grow stagnant. Growth is such an important part of life!

      I'm not a fan of dad jokes per se but hearing him laugh/groan - definitely worth it to me! :)

      And life is about the little things. It's hard to remember that sometimes, but thinking about your partner enough to think about the little things...I think it says a lot about what is or isn't in your heart. And not that you have to always think of them or always obsess over the little things for everything else there is balance in life and you can't do everything for someone else. But the effort is important too! :) I'm glad you have someone you can laugh with now - I can't imagine being without that!