Friday, March 4, 2016

Unexpected parenting truths

I have been a parent now for a little over 7 years. And I still feel like I have NO idea what I'm doing most of the time. I mean, I have these moments where I feel like the perfect mom - when dinner is wholesome, delicious, and nutritious; the kids are clean and the house is neat and picked up, laundry is done and dishes are washed. When both kids are happy and life is relatively peaceful (if loud).

But most of the time, parenting is a lot like gambling - no one really knows what they're doing, and sometimes it pays off and sometimes it blows up in your face in quite spectacular fashion. But I realized this morning that while I generally feel completely clueless, I have learned something as I've gone along. So, I decided to share!

1) Silence is not golden. Silence is very, very bad. If your kids are silent, they are doing something you don't want them to. Like colouring on the walls, or getting into the sugar canister. Or taking apart a drawer. As for HOW these silent moments happen? See rule 2.


2) Everything bad happens when you need to pee. Once the kids are mobile, peeing is dangerous. In the 30 seconds it takes you to pee and wash your hands, they will inevitably pick that moment to climb on top of the kitchen table jump off, or climb inside the frig.



3) Every child tries to do things that should kill them. I mean yes, kids are wonderful. I'm quite fond of mine in fact. But especially as toddlers they have NO sense of self preservation. The oven looks like a GREAT place to play, Mama! The silverware is full of fun shiny stuff Mommy - what do you mean I can't have a knife? Oooh, that penny looks DELICIOUS! Acknowledging their tendency towards self destruction is the first step towards sanity (not to mention, keeping them safe).

4) Rule 3 inevitably coincides with either rule 1, or rule 2 - and sometimes both.



On a completely unrelated note, that's pretty much how my day's gone. How about you?

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